eastZeast

We only ended up in this Punjabi gaff opposite the Echo because literally everywhere else was shut on Christmas eve. I’ve hated Indian food ever since my first job at a takeaway when on my first shift, I dropped chicken on the floor and the chef sent me on my way to serve it.

I’ve also always had an irrational disdain for the letter Z because I’m Welsh and there’s no Z in the Welsh alphabet, so this place had a large cross to bear (cross? chilli pepper?) as I sauntered in past the faux palm trees and artificial waterfall. On that subject, don’t they know names have a capital letter? Grr, #creativewritingprobs.

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Inside it’s decadent to the highest degree, a bit like Dubai airport. You get multiple forks so you know this place is swank. I even decided against wearing my white-girl bindi for the occasion.

There was literally nothing on the menu I fancied, and this menu is absolutely gigantic. I was determined not to have the white-girl chicken tikka massala, but I was suspicious that the jalfrezi contained scrambled eggs so requested it minus the eggs.

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The anti-OCD in me is stressed

For starters I had garlic mushrooms, which were tasty but way too garlicky for my taste – basically, a bowl of garlic seasoned with mushroom.

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My meal arrived in a bucket (you all know how I feel about meals in buckets) but I only had a mouthful before getting distracted by my mum and my brother’s passanda and korma, which actually turned out to be amazing despite my Ffs-don’t-embarrass-me-with-your-korma-and-chips judgements. They were the tastiest I’ve ever had and I helped demolish both, and you even got free cocktail sticks to poke family in the eyes so they wouldn’t notice.

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Mum paid just under £120 for the four of us, but there were no holds barred and a ton of food which went to waste – tragic.

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The interior of this place aims for the classy fine dining vibe but falls a bit short, what with its silver diamanté embellished upholstered furniture. HOWEVER, the food is totally boss which alone would lure me back (as long as parentals pay again).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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